The Baby Thief | Barbara Bisantz Raymond

[1] "Georgia's legacy has endured into the twenty-first century, and the vast majority of America's 6 million adoptees are still legally denied knowledge of their roots, even after they become adults.  Many cant find their birth parents or learn potentially life-saving information about their family health histories." (xiv)

[2] [When speaking of why she wrote this book, and in regards to the stories of resilience of the surviving victims] 

". . . I was often made inarticulate by such evidence of human resilience and common sense.  To have transformed a personal tragedy into a vehicle for helping or informing others seemed noble: the recounting of such feats seemed sufficient reason for any book." (144) 

[3] "In placing children with adoptive parents generally willing to treat them as children, not hired help, Georgia was a pioneer.  Today's adoptive parents continue to treat adopted children as part of their families.  It is one of Georgia's few positive legacies." (109-110)

[4] [A mother, on how she found the strength to go on after losing her son to Georgia Tann] 

"Back home in Mississipi, Ann regretted her decision, becoming guant and depressed before finally discovering a way of coping with her loss.  She pretended she hadn't lost Gordon.  She kept him with her in her mind, watched him grow from infant to toddler to boy.

    'By 1944 you were six and starting first grade, the very grade I was teaching,' she told Gordon, he wrote in an article for Reader's Digest. 'I couldn't wait for school to start.  I saw you in every child's face.  When I administered IQ tests, I hoped the boy with the highest score was you.  When I comforted a crying, defeated child, I feared he might be you.

    'You grew quickly that year,' she said.  'You were aggressive and vulnerable, cocky, and easily wounded.  I learned you needed an atmosphere of tolerance and love.  I tried to give it to you by giving it to all those children. 

    'It was an illusion, of course, but I have believed it, and when I said goodbye to that class in the spring, I felt sick with guilt.  It was as if I was abandoning you for the second time.

    'Then, following winter, I learned the third grade teacher was retiring.  I immediately petitioned the school board for a transfer, and I got it.  I would be your teacher again, this time, when you were eight. 

    'That year, as I watched you mature, I was proud you were becoming your own person, and I felt selfish for trying to hold on to you.  At the end of the year, I stopped imagining you were with me.  But I always wanted you back.  I prayed I that one day I would meet you as a man...'

    'I just sat there, immobilised by my own emotions,' Gordon told me. 'Slowly, she held out her arms and, for the first time in thirty-seven years, we touched.'" (141)

[5] "If knowledge of the long-buried story of Georgia Tann teaches us anything, it is the importance of ridding adoption of lies and secrets.  Until we do, she and her imitators will continue to corrupt adoption." (246)

4.5/5 Barbara Bisantz Raymond is a masterful historian who has uncovered truth regarding Georgia Tann. The subject matter is a tough, sickening pill to swallow, and she is honest about how difficult this was to write, and how depressing it was to research. She lays the facts out, has stories and pictures from survivors, and describes modern adoption policies.  It seemed to abruptly end, I do think it would have been good to tie back into the stories of the victims themselves at that point. But I couldn't put this book down, and applaud Ms. Raymond for tackling such a difficult subject.

Before We Were Yours | Lisa Wingate

[1] "She is pretty. A gentle, fragile soul.  Not the sort who would intentionally bring about the catastrophic unraveling that is only, this moment, beginning.  In my multifold years of life, I have learned that most people get along as best they can.  They don't intend to hurt anyone.  It is merely a terrible by-product of surviving." (3)

[2] "Life is not unlike cinema.  Each scene has its own music, and the music is created for the scene, woven to it in ways we do not understand.  No matter how much we may love the melody of a bygone day or imagine the song of a future one, we must dance within the music of today, or we will always be out of step, stumbling around in something that doesn't suit the moment.  I let go of the river's song and found the music of that big house.  I found room for a new life, a new mother who cared for me, and a new father who patiently taught me not only how to play music, but how to trust.  He was as good a man as ever I've known.  Oh, it was never like the Arcadia, but it was a good life.  We were loved and cherished and protected." (315) 

[3] "I lose myself in the smell of woodsmoke and morning fog so thick it cloaks the opposite bank and turns the river into a sea.  I run along the sandbars with my sisters, and hide in the grass, and wait for them to come find me.  Their voices weave soft through the mist, so that I can't tell how close or far they are. 

    On the Arcadia, Queenie sings a song.  I sit stone still in the grass and listen to my mama's voice.

            When the blackbird in the spring,

             On the willow tree,

             Sat and rocked, I heard him sing,

             Singing, Aura Lee,

             Aura Lee, Aura Lee,

             Maid with golden hair,

             Sunshine came along with thee..." (181)

[4] "A woman's past need not predict her future.  She can dance to new music if she chooses.  Her own music. To hear the tune, she must only stop talking.  To herself, I mean.  We're always trying to persuade ourselves of things." (317)

[5] "For the hundreds who vanished and for the thousands who didn't.  

    May your stories not be forgotten.

For those who help today's orphans find forever homes. 

May you always know the value 

of your work

and your love." (1) 

4.5/5. Lisa Wingate has bravely created an absolute masterpiece. Her writing is important. Her writing is poetic, and the past and present are weaved masterfully into this tapestry of heart-wrenching historical fiction. I couldn't put it down. What Georgia Tann did makes me physically ill, and is not for the faint of heart.  I wept.  The characters seemed so real they could have been breathing right off the page.  For something so horrific that there really are no words, Lisa Wingate found a way to put it into just that. And somehow she left me feeling hopeful, that we can learn from our past and make sure not to allow history to repeat itself.  For that I am so grateful.

Take note, the subject matter is for mature readers only. 

Happiness for Beginners | Katherine Center

[1] "...happy people are more likely to register joy than unhappy people. So if you take two people who have experienced a day of, say, fifty percent good things and fifty percent bad things, an unhappy person would remember more of the bad.  ..it's not just an attitude. It's genuinely connected to memory.  It's like, for unhappy people, if you ask them at the end of the day what they remember, it's the bad stuff.  But they aren't ignoring the good memories, they just didn't retain them." (123-124)

[2] "'People can get hooked up on longing, though. They wind up liking the wanting more than the having.' 
'Exactly!'  I said.  Is that fixable?

    Windy thought for a moment before answering.  'Well,' she said. 'there's a lot more neurological plasticity in the brain than we used to believe.  In theory, anything's possible.  But that's in theory.  The most important thing to remember is that getting what you want doesn't make you happy.'

'It doesn't?'  I asked.

'Not for long.  Happiness is more about appreciating than acquisition.'" (164)

[3] "I don't know how he could press so much longing and so much determination into one stolen moment, but there, on our knees, in the rain, the two of us possibly the dirtiest people to kiss since caveman times, he did.  It was like nobody else even existed.  I couldn't have pulled away if I'd wanted to.  By the way, I didn't want to." (217)

[4] "As I walked behind her, watching her calf muscles flex and release, I decided they were just exactly the perfect human shape for calves--and for legs in general, really." (123)

[5] "Every story has a beginning and an end.  Looking back, I could have begun it anywhere, or lingered on anything.  ..I could have lingered on sorrows.  I could have painted the portrait of a crumbling marriage, or a family drowned by grief. It's all there.

    But that's not the story I want to tell.  Those aren't the moments in my life I want to dwell on.  They happened. They mattered.  They left their marks.  But the things we remember are what we hold on to, and what we hold on to becomes the story of our lives.  We only get one story.  And I am determined to make mine a good one." (308)

3.5/5 I loved this book. I cringed a little at the beginning, but as the characters were developed I fell in love with all of them. It was just a fun, chick-flick feel. I am pretty excited for the Netflix version later this year! 

Take note, there is some language, a few F bombs, and some sexually suggestive material. 

Confessions of a Domestic Failure | Bunmi Laditan

[1] "Does anyone else find it entirely unreasonable that a human being should be required to cook AND clean on the same day? I woke up determined to get my kitchen in a state that doesn't make me shrink with shame... When I was done my kitchen sparkled like it never had before. Aubrey woke up and I honestly felt like an amazing woman and mom until I realized something. I had to start dinner. In an hour, the kitchen would be destroyed. It seemed like a waste of my hard work so I ordered Chinese food, instead." (62)

[2] "I wish parenthood talked about how utterly boring motherhood could be. I felt guilty for feeling it, but.. I was bored. I tried to set Aubrey down on her foam mat, but as soon as her tiny feet grazed the floor, she let out a banshee scream. Like a good servant, I picked her right back up and headed into the kitchen to eat my feelings. ..It only took a few seconds to pop the top off of the industrial-sized tub of peanut butter.. Aubrey begged for a taste. 'Pretty good, isn't it? One day you'll eat your feelings, too, honey.'" (63)

[3] "Sometimes it feels like moms are supposed to be invisible in society. Seen but not heard. We're supposed to quietly and quickly go about our task of raising perfectly mannered, groomed Gap babies who speak four languages before they're six without distracting the rest of the world from their important work." (24)

[4]  "Dear Pinterest, 

When we first started dating, you lured me in with Skittles-flavored vodka and Oreo-filled chocolate chip cookies. You wooed me with cheesy casseroles adjacent to motivational fitness sayings. I loved your inventiveness: Who knew cookies needed a sugary butter dip? 

    You did. You knew, Pinterest. You inspired me, not to make stuff, but to think about one day possibly making stuff if I have time. You took the cake batter, rainbow and bacon trend to levels nobody thought were possible. You made me hungry. The nights I spent pinning and eating nachos were some of the best nights of my life. 

    Pinterest, we can't see each other anymore. You see, it's recently come to my attention that some people aren't just pinning, they are making. This makes me want to make, too. Unfortunately, I'm not good at making, and deep down I like buying way more.  Do you see where I'm going with this? I'm starting to feel bad, Pinterest. I don't enjoy you the way I once did. 

    We need to take a break. I'm going to miss your crazy ideas (rolls made with 7Up? Shut your mouth). This isn't going to be easy. You've been responsible for nearly every 2 a.m. grilled cheese binge I've had for the past couple of years, and for that I'll be eternally grateful. 

Stay cool, Pinterest.

PS. You hurt me.

PPS. I'm also poor now.

Xo

Me" (128)

[5] "Back to the ridiculous parking spaces. Every time I parked and had to squeeze my jiggly post-baby stomach between vehicles it was just another reminder that I'm not where I should be, body-wise. It's hard enough getting out of the house with an eight-month-old who only poops when we're in stores.  

Which led me to..

    Piece of Evidence That The World Hates Moms #2: Public Changing Tables.

Nobody's asking for a Four Seasons-inspired changing room with baby bidets and Egyptian cotton, rosewater-scented wipes individually handed to me by a gloved bathroom attendant, but three days ago I almost gagged changing Aubrey on a sticky, crusty monstrosity with broken straps, soiled with what I HOPED was dried prune baby food. I did my best to clean the biohazard with wipes and hand sanitizer, but really?" (24)

3.5/5. I loved it! It too a minute to get used to the main character, Ashley, but she grew on me quickly. If you haven't ever struggled with depression or complete overwhelm in motherhood, this book may not be the book for you. But, I happen to know that I do, thus, I found this book refreshing and hilarious. Ashley is truly a hot mess, but a relatable, lovable hot mess!

Take note, there is some language and some sexually suggestive material.